Parental Issues

Hi Tatriena,
I’ve heard about your column and I’m interested.I need your help with this particular issue.At what age do u think parents should stop running their children’s lives and allow them to make their own decisions? I’m 20 years old and living with family. However,they still want to make many decisions for me such as how to dress and the friends I keep amot other things.I am given a relatively early curfew when I go out and I try to talk to them but it doesn’t help.Is it reasonable that I conform to all these rules? Are’nt I at an age where I can make responsible decisions on my own? I don’t know what to do and your advice would be highly appreciated.THANKS!
NH, Portland, JA

NH,
This is a tender issue that a lot of young people your age. In your mail you didn’t stated whether you are male or female.Nevertheless, there is no simple logic behind your question. Your letter states you are from Jamaica and depending on where in the world you live different rules applies to house rules. I’m under the impression since it is in the western atmosphere the similar rules to Northern America would apply.Parents would gradually have given you some level of freedom in terms of choice making. Just the same not the it’s greatest extent.In addition, you hadn’t stated what you did for a living. If you depend on your parental income for support due to college or working part-time they will use it as their driving force for instigating their house rules. The harsh reality is that most young adults that move out after high school is because of failure of compliance or seeking their personal freedom. My suggestion is that you figure out the areas in which you have issues, you’ll speak to your parents about arranging a compromise. In doing so my advice is for you to exercise your responsibility through your daily doings prior to making the confrontation.
Tatriena

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August 11, 2012. Uncategorized.

3 Comments

  1. anonymous replied:

    Hi, I disagree with parents who try to run there childs life even though they passed the age of eighteen and is considered adults. But since you stated that you live with them, you might have to just listen to them most of the times because in your parents minds once you are living under there roof you have to follow there rules. As Tartriena said you can negotiate with your parents about your issue and depending on how they feel about the situation, they might make some changes.

    • anonymous replied:

      Hi, I disagree with parents who try to run there childs life even though

      they passed the age of eighteen and is considered adults. But since you

      stated that you live with them, you might have to just listen to them

      most of the times because in your parents minds once you are living

      under there roof you have to follow there rules. As Tartriena said you

      can negotiate with your parents about your issue and depending on

      how they feel about the situation, they might make some changes.

  2. yawdyabroad replied:

    The moral of the story really is that train a child in the way he/she should grow, and when he/she gets old he would never depart from it. The harsh reality is that any such parent that did a good job growing their child after the child has become an adult he/she slowly has grown to become and individual. The stipulations of this happening really is that children are a reflection of their surrounding. If parents are controlling the actions of their child, it simply means somewhere along the line they (the parents)were not doing their job properly. Parents are like managers, but at some point they have to let go and let their child be. Now the way this now “individual” reacts would be a reflection of a job well done or not.

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